Seitan?

Seitan is 'wheat-meat.' In a nut shell, it is flour that has been turned into a dough, the starch removed (by washing it in water), and simmered in a flavorful broth. The complicated way to make seitan is from scratch - making the dough, washing the starch, and cooking the gluten. However, unless you are in a survival situation, sitting on a mound of whole wheat flour, or just wanting to experience the zen of kneading and rinsing dough, there is vital wheat gluten: already rinsed flour, with just the protein remaining, in powder form. Unlike the home-kneaded-rinsed-dough, vital wheat gluten can be flavored in the first stage - that is when you mix it. Making seitan that is tasty can be a challenge. I know, I have been making it for almost a decade. I went through "Simply Heavenly," a difficult-to-attain cookbook by a Monastery Cook, who recommends pressure cooking the gluten, to Bryanna Grogan Clark, who herself, went through several incarnations of her seitan recipes. Hands down, she is the Queen of Seitan. Through her tutelage, I, too, was able to attain seitan-wisdom. She is well-published, and easy to find on the web and on Amazon - go and buy a bunch of her cookbooks. Anyway, getting back to seitan: some simple rules and you will not have to go through Seitan Hell.

#1) To mix the gluten it is VERY HELPFUL to have a bread machine. Go and get one. A garage sale. Amazon. Your mother. Your mother-in-law. Really, anyone and anywhere. Yes, it is that helpful. Size? Doesn't really matter (they come in regular (1 1/2 lbs) or large (2 lbs)). Don't eat out for a week. Don't buy coffee for a month. Walk somewhere that would cost you $$. Yes, it is that important. BTW, it is also good for mixing bread dough, even if you shape it and bake it in the oven (much better than baking it in the machine).

#2) Do not boil the gluten! It changes the flavor and the seitan will taste, well,...seitan-y. Simmer only. That means do not let the broth get over 212 F.

#3) How???? you ask. Yeah, I know, I didn't want to hang over my pot of seitan with a seitan thermometer (a.k.a. 'meat' thermometer) for three hours either. A few options:
A) use a slow cooker overnight on LOW
B) Braise in the broth for 3 hours, on 325 F, turning the gluten twice, covered tightly,
C) simmer on the stove, on low, on a diffuser ring (about $10, also good for not burning rice), uncovered or covered...depending on what your seitan thermometer says.

#4) After you are convinced that the gluten mixes I supply you with are a great idea and taste excellent, then get yourself some quart mason jars and the next time you make a mix, make four more. Label them and place them on your shelf. The next time you want to make, say, 'chicken,' you just have to grab the jar of mix and add the blended liquid and set your bread machine to 'dough' (see #1) and you are a step ahead.

That is it! Now go and cook with it wherever an animal substitute is desperately needed.